Hi Lucy ā I have also experienced a pregnancy that ended due to Trisomy 18, at 16 weeks. I was completely blindsided when a standard scan turned into 'We're so sorry'. The fall-out was physically and emotionally traumatic and messy (similar to your experience, in a way), and I don't think I have processed it to this day ā it was 8 years ago. I was not given my boy to bury, and I think of him on occasion. I've not come across anyone else who has had this particular experience, so thank you for writing openly about it. I do love your writing and website and share it often with others. Take care, Amanda (in Tasmania)
Oh Amanda, I am so sorry. I've never spoken to anyone who's been through the same either, so thank you, so very much, for reaching out. One of the hardest parts of it all has been the isolation - although I've been told several times how common miscarriages are (despite this being very much not a miscarriage, nor at all common - 1 in 2500 or so, I heard) no one else I know has had any sort of pregnancy loss. I imagine it will stay with me too.. the unexpected lessons about life, being human, the world as well. Sending so much love from Denmark, Lucy
Thank you for finding the courage to write about this immeasurable loss and generously sharing what you are living through with others.
As I learn to navigate the grief of not being able to have children, your resilience and kind wisdom are, like a hug of a very good friend, bring consolation.
Please, keep going. You are a great person and a talented writer. Iāve been following your work for several years now, and itās always a great joy to read and to learn from you. Your writings and book references have helped me a lot on my personal and professional journey.
Alla, thank you so much for your kind message and for sharing your own experience and grief. I've only recently learned about "ambiguous loss" and how complex it all is ā also, how few rituals our culture has for navigating these losses. That said, I have a lot to thank gardening, books, and sourdough bread baking for this year :) I hope you can keep finding strength and comfort over time, too. Sending so much love. ā Lucy
Lucy, thank you very much for your kind words. Reading your story and those of other women, as well as sharing mine, makes it less Ā«Ā ambiguousĀ Ā».
It is so great to hear that you find comfort in your everyday activities š„° I hope these little rituals will bring you some consolation and peace of mind. Looking forward to learning more about what books you read :)
āWith time, Iāve come to realise that our daughter only knew the warmth and comfort of my womb.ā Gosh, thank you for this. Itās more meaningful to me than I can really express right now, but I am so grateful for your thoughtful articulation of this, and wish you grace and hope on your healing journey.
Iām so sorry for your loss. I had a very similar experience - thank you for sharing. š
I'm so sorry you can relate, Grace. Sending love.
Hi Lucy ā I have also experienced a pregnancy that ended due to Trisomy 18, at 16 weeks. I was completely blindsided when a standard scan turned into 'We're so sorry'. The fall-out was physically and emotionally traumatic and messy (similar to your experience, in a way), and I don't think I have processed it to this day ā it was 8 years ago. I was not given my boy to bury, and I think of him on occasion. I've not come across anyone else who has had this particular experience, so thank you for writing openly about it. I do love your writing and website and share it often with others. Take care, Amanda (in Tasmania)
Oh Amanda, I am so sorry. I've never spoken to anyone who's been through the same either, so thank you, so very much, for reaching out. One of the hardest parts of it all has been the isolation - although I've been told several times how common miscarriages are (despite this being very much not a miscarriage, nor at all common - 1 in 2500 or so, I heard) no one else I know has had any sort of pregnancy loss. I imagine it will stay with me too.. the unexpected lessons about life, being human, the world as well. Sending so much love from Denmark, Lucy
Dear Lucy,
Thank you for finding the courage to write about this immeasurable loss and generously sharing what you are living through with others.
As I learn to navigate the grief of not being able to have children, your resilience and kind wisdom are, like a hug of a very good friend, bring consolation.
Please, keep going. You are a great person and a talented writer. Iāve been following your work for several years now, and itās always a great joy to read and to learn from you. Your writings and book references have helped me a lot on my personal and professional journey.
Take care. Lots of love. š«¶
Alla
Alla, thank you so much for your kind message and for sharing your own experience and grief. I've only recently learned about "ambiguous loss" and how complex it all is ā also, how few rituals our culture has for navigating these losses. That said, I have a lot to thank gardening, books, and sourdough bread baking for this year :) I hope you can keep finding strength and comfort over time, too. Sending so much love. ā Lucy
Lucy, thank you very much for your kind words. Reading your story and those of other women, as well as sharing mine, makes it less Ā«Ā ambiguousĀ Ā».
It is so great to hear that you find comfort in your everyday activities š„° I hope these little rituals will bring you some consolation and peace of mind. Looking forward to learning more about what books you read :)
Take care. Sending you lots of love. Alla
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this. Itās beautifully written and inspiring. Iām so sorry you experienced such grief. ā¤ļø
āWith time, Iāve come to realise that our daughter only knew the warmth and comfort of my womb.ā Gosh, thank you for this. Itās more meaningful to me than I can really express right now, but I am so grateful for your thoughtful articulation of this, and wish you grace and hope on your healing journey.